The 24-year-old bisexual flight attendant who doesn’t want kids. 35% body-fat. 

The 24-year-old nurse who sometimes smokes.

The 26-year-old who posts pictures of her and her ex.

The 26-year-old au pair whose Love Language is highly specificized as “quality time.”

The 31-year-old Teacher with way too many requirements, laid out in paragraph-sized bullet points.

The anti-abortionist feminist applying to medical school, looking for a sponsor.

The 6/10 Instagram model with a bachelor’s degree in marketing. She sells bottles at nightclub VIP lounges, so she is definitely not likely to cheat.

“Gabby” who doesn’t smoke, but has terrible grammar.

The Christian cat mom with generic, cursive scripture and pictogram tats.

The bisexual daycare teacher with a septum piercing and two dogs who will always have priority over you, even posthumously. 

The Bisexual Gemini Graphic Designer who wears only Halloween

The Thirty-year-old Twice Divorced Account Manager, back for more.

The Pansexual Pharmacy Tech who does no drugs except hallucinogens at work (when in Rome).

The Esthetician with children but who doesn’t want more. Aka, looking to move into your house. Oh you have an apartment? Keep swiping, poor loser!