The following is an excerpt from my book Forever Improving, coming out April 25, 2026 on this website.

Men: don’t fawn over women. Don’t over-signal interest through excessive compliments in the initial courtship phase. But here’s the deal: in some cultures, it’s nice to compliment and it should be authentic, but it doesn’t mean the receiver has your unconditional commitment, allegiance, and all that. It’s just flirting and being fun. Women think just because I flirt it means they have me captured, or they can disrespect me. Chill on that. The woman still has a lot of work to do and herself to prove.

Men—don’t forget your intrinsic market value. Many of us men literally risk our lives daily in numerous ways; we are the primary risk-takers in the extreme labor force. We build and get shit done. Arguably, society has been built off the aggregate physical labor of man. We can get basically everything done on our own. Yes, it helps to have women help, no doubt, and I’m very grateful for women for wanting to work and help us men, but I think ultimately it’s us men who are the primary architects of the infrastructure. Not all, but a good amount of “modern careers” are just administrative busybody tasks. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person working such jobs, I just think people in non-essential bureaucratic roles should just chill and not think they are all-important.

I think for women, a very important aspect of their evolutionary role is to support and care for men. Ideological critics might think I am misogynistic for saying that, but that’s just because the Overton window has shifted so far left that it seems “sexist” for a woman to perform her traditional biological function: to care for the man who protects her with his life. Women aren’t risking their lives with the same statistical frequency as men, pregnancy and birth aside. 

Biological essentialism (the idea that biology is the only thing that matters) is wrong, and so is it’s extreme counterpart, blank slate theory (the idea that biology matters not at all). We have hardware differences, but neither has a software cap. Biologically, women can become pregnant, carry a fetus, give birth, and breastfeed—capabilities men do not have. Men, on average, produce sperm continuously and tend to have higher baseline levels of testosterone, greater upper-body muscle mass, and higher hemoglobin, which supports oxygen delivery for short bursts of power. Overlap between the sexes is very broad: both sexes share nearly all organs and cognitive capacities, can build strength and endurance with training, experience the same core emotions, and perform the same intellectual, creative, and professional tasks. Any real-world differences are statistical averages with individual variation rather than hard limits. One’s gender can influence certain tendencies or physical traits, but it doesn’t determine what an individual can or cannot do. I’m not saying men are better, or women are better. We have tons of overlap, but we also have things each sex can’t do as well as the other, and some things they can’t do at all. 

My advice to men: Don’t follow the Instagram models. Don’t pay for OnlyFans. Don’t watch porn. These feed narcissistic feedback loops where the women should be pursuing pair-bonding with a boyfriend or husband instead. Now, don’t get me wrong: models are models and that’s lovely. There’s nothing wrong with such careers. But I just don’t like it when we commodify the feminine too much, because the socio-behavioral cause-and-effect is that it directly and indirectly ruins potential relationships that are deeper, healthier, more meaningful.

You might wonder—why do we want the ones who don’t appear to want us? It is a result of fitness signaling. In the “animal spirit,” if someone doesn’t want us, we subconsciously perceive them as having a higher Sexual Market Value (SMV) than our own. We are biologically wired to “mate up,” so we chase the elusive target because their indifference is interpreted by our lizard brain as a sign of superior genetic quality.

The “chase” comes with a high that can be addictive. The uncertainty of the reward creates a higher spike of dopamine than a “sure thing” ever could.

Hypergamy is embedded in the animal spirit. To always want better. Hypergamy is the instinctual drive to seek the best possible provider or protector. Even when we have a “good” option, the evolutionary impetus is to scan the horizon for a “better” one to ensure the survival of the strongest possible lineage. It is a survival mechanism that, in the modern world, often malfunctions into a state of permanent dissatisfaction. Hypergamy is arguably the very engine of natural selection. If we were satisfied with what was easily attained, the species would stagnate. Life’s impetus is expansion and optimization; unfortunately, that means we often trample over the “available” in a desperate, hard-coded pursuit of the “unattainable.”

The modern world should realize that the majority of “admin jobs” are inconsequential when it comes to the survival of Homo sapiens. Motherhood needn’t be a universal mandate, not at all, but I do think feminism needs to reclaim it as a vital priority for women. Hush your pointless conversations, stay out the way, off the road, and get back to the kitchen. Unless you’re a scientist. 

If you are a woman and you think, “I don’t want children,” consider that if you were with the right person, you might change your mind. But if not overall, that’s fine. 

To women who do want children: God bless your career. God bless feminism. The work you’ve done in your life was a great run, but now it is time to be a mum. You can always go back to employment or business, but we need more women to embrace motherhood as a goal, as it’s super important, including for their own selves and mental health. Women are quite literally designed to become nurturers.