About

Elia Kazan is an author, editor, and publisher specializing in a diverse range of disciplines, from fiction and non-fiction to educational textbooks and biographies. A New Jersey native, Elia holds a Bachelor’s in English from William Paterson University, a Master of Arts in English from Arizona State University, and a Juris Doctor from the Elisabeth Haub School of Law at Pace University. His work explores the intersection of academic rigor and creative expression, including humor and lyricism.

“I’m emailin you … from the wrong website and misspellin you, prankin you, and puttin the fear of hell in you!”

“I had a huge attitude, started off staticky
Mad at you, had you mad at me automatically (One more time)
I’m not a commodity, I’m an oddity
Who oddly enough developed himself a Halloween following
It’s so big, if I counted up all the freaks who follow me (One, two)
I’d probably owe Ozzy Osbourne an apology (Whoops)
College girls, live in an alcoholic’s world
Full of hurl, head twirls every time the toilet swirls
Covered in throw-up, and I refuse to grow up
I won’t budge, I still tell a grown-up to shut up (Shut up!)
I made this rap game suspenseful
Cause now I got an impulse game to insult you wit’ a pencil (Bitch)
They waste the paper on you, chopping down the oakwood
Cause everything that you wrote in your notebook was no good
And as long as I stay in the studio and keep cuttin’
You motherfuckers are puttin’ your words together for nothin’”

My work ethic demonic. Speed supersonic. Fuck confusing your ass, I’m going hypnotic. I’m investing in your brand and puttin my face on it. When I drink the gin and tonic, I extinct the species like a comet, before I die from choking on my own vomit.

I got arrested for butt-fuckin Sally Mae in the alleyway! It’s a pouty day. When I’m tired as fuck, you better stay the f— out the way!

This has been said this in various ways, but it’s so true: Speak from the heart, and the words will flow.

With these rhymes I deal it, I got the skill wit to beat you with an iron skillet. I make a siren feel it even when I conceal it. If you got a broken heart, you know I can heal it. 

I don’t wanna come back to this Earth, to society as we know it. I’m good. And death will be an adventure, a forward progress. I’m not scared. 

I’ll admit it, I tried gettin wit Micky Kaminski
Don’t blame me, she’s hotta than a summer in Corpus Christi
I know she’s married, B, but life can be risky.
I need an overpriced consultant, somebody call McKinsey
Stumblin like I’m pissy drunk frisky, like I drank too much whiskey
I’m like a floater, call me Frisbee. I know one day you might miss me

You think I won’t slap no trick?
Open-handed
I ain’t talkin boutchyo mama, I’m talkin boutchyo kid (he’s 33)
I beat up anyone like Show Man did 
COVID? They say they preprogrammed it
I’m so damn wit
We so damn wit
Hotboxin in slow transit
Trying to upload my porno but I got low bandwit

I’m stretched and perplexed
Fuck a double text
I’m still alive beneath this rubble mess.
Forget a guess
I wish my life was troubleless
I’m walkin around rudderless
Left the rainbow colorless
and your bank account numberless.

Livin at a fun house
The gossip’s true, I did spun out!
I whip this gun out
and strike harder than you swung out
Me and yo chick hung out
Planted some seeds and waited till they sprung out
I’m strung out
Stick my tongue out
I can’t spel, cause 8th grade I flunked out

I crash the deck into some tree upset (AH)
130 mph so you can’t see nutin’ left (OH)
Left sperm in my woman so you can’t say that I left (UH)
I’m not an actor, this real life is my set.
I don’t eat, I just build the tech for the check.
I spit words like a TEC that make you lose your breath
Followin’ God with every breath that I get.
I’m soberin’ up; let me just get another hit of this meth.
Handsome yes, but with a devilish sweat
Contradicting myself like an organized mess.

Do as I say, not as I do.
I’m as good as a homeless dude with a bag of food
I’m as rude as a mouth full of food as it chews
I’m colder than the middle of winter in Kalamazoo.